The final payment made it to the surgeon's office today. One month from today I will be having surgery to finally get my physical body to match my gender. A dream 54 years in the making, about to come true. Read More

It's holding your friend because they are sobbing uncontrollably about something they weren't given a choice about.It's when you stand helpless in the waiting room, waiting for news, but can't go back because you aren't family.It's when you watch the l...Read More

I have mailed the final payment to my surgeon. Now I am preparing for the "kiss my **** goodbye" party this Saturday, July 21st. Then it's off to Montreal on August 16th for my surgery on the 20th It's been a wonderful journey the last 5 years.Read More

why am i so remote from heaven and her loving embrace? the material plane is a harsh one, no one to love, no where is home, no signs of life beyond the opressive void with chains of gravity everpresent to disallow one from simply flying away, away from...Read More

5 weeks left until surgery, and 9 days left until party !!! It's getting close, a dream 54 years in the making, about to come true.   August 20th, my surgery date. Bobbie JoRead More

My last journal entry was written out of frustration and i have come to find hardly any truth in it either, but rather an attempt at pragmatism, which love doesn't follow. yes i have trouble communicating in words, but i should more than make up for i...Read More

I went last year for the first time and so hope to go again this year!!  It is sooo much fun and I highly recommend it!  :)   Hugs,  j    Read More

I have been here and there looking for a woman for a serious relationship, and found one, but i fell into traps of what i thought women wanted because i wanted to find my soulmate and be who I am around her, but truth is that you can only give yourself...Read More

I had my cardiologist appointment and was cleared for surgery. On August 17th I will head to Montreal, and have my surgery on August 20th.   .I lived 49 years trying to be good to everyone but the one person that truly matters - myself. It was ...Read More

where am I heading. i was doing so well. i was happy, i felt like i needed nothing else except for the love of a woman, but i am not so sure there is love on that other side anymore. what i feel now is hallow. the door has been shut in my face by someo...Read More

2 months until surgery. I went and bought three cute dresses yesterday because I will need some loose fitting clothes during my recovery period, no tight fitting spandex for awhile.   Since my ekg was "abnormal", the surgeon wants me to go see a...Read More

Does anyone know, do we see spirits and ghosts first, or hear them?  I know that lightening we see first, then hear, but that has to do with the difference between the speeds of light and of sound.  But with spirits, both their sight and soun...Read More

i am enjoying the temporary increase of work hours available at my current job. i find that i cannot do enough in the day when i am working at a fulltime pace, and time seems to pass faster, but then again i do not get out as much and relax should this...Read More

I don't know where I am, but i feel like i have taken a couple of steps back and more forward in another direction entirely. I am starting to think wiser now; well actually starting to think forward more precisely. i have stopped drinking for what seem...Read More

I had my pre-surgery tests on June 14th. The doctor said my ekg was abnormal, whatever that means. She wasn't going to worry about it, so I guess that is a good sign.   I am 2 months away from surgery in Montreal.Read More

Just pondering it... is there anythng better?    Hugs, jRead More

If your in/near San Francisco, this might be worthwhile.  A documentary about Jennifer Leitham.  I think she's a great musician.     http://ticketing.frameline.org/festival/film/detail.aspx?id=2608&fid=49 Take ca...Read More

This is something that I wrote for Facebook, thought I might share with everyone here...maybe for those who are struggling with family, it will give them some encouragement.   Being a transsexual, I, like others in the LGBT community, we have an...Read More

QUOTE OF THE DAY: I do not understand why some people think that having a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered child means they failed as a parent.You want to know what REALLY means you failed as a parent? - Disowning your child means you failed as ...Read More

Maybe I've hit my genetic limit at a 37' bust. The puraria murifica and saw palmetto stopped providing the right hormonal feeling after a couple of weeks of maximum dose. So now I'm going to stop and see how much I can lose from my waistline. I'm usin...Read More

I received all my paperwork for my August surgery today. I will read all of this tonight, I need to initial a couple of items and mail a couple of things back. Less than 4 months to go and I will be in Montreal for gender affirmation surgery.Read More

A movie worth watching, in my opinion. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njSV5LtVmR4&feature=player_embedded   Read More

Update, I've been hovering at 170 last few weeks.  I notice definite loss of tummy fat, and an increased lightness of being.  I feel better about myself.  Someone asked about my BMI; I had to look up that's it's Body Mass Indicator - a s...Read More

I've, for a very long time, studied and transcribed, basically, straight ahead jazz saxophonists, like Sonny Stitt and Coltrane.  I've been trying to listen outside my "box" for a few years.  Thought this was beautiful.   http://www...Read More